


Cute Butt

by Starstruck4Moony



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Awkwardness, Bad Puns, Bi, Chef! Remus, Cook! Remus, Crush, Cute, Flirting, Fluff, Gay, Get Together, Happy, Happy Ending, Humor, Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Male Slash, Modern Era, Pan - Freeform, Rejection, Romance, Sirius Black Lives, Slash, Tall Remus, but its ok its cute i promise, cook - Freeform, idk but he knows his way around a piece of meat, proposal, punny, puns, romance at the meat counter, serious puns, smoke, totally ridiculous fluff, whatever you want - Freeform, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 02:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13672545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starstruck4Moony/pseuds/Starstruck4Moony
Summary: Sirius finds the perfect piece of meat at the butcher's counter. Unfortunately Mr. Punk Rock gets a little ahead of himself...Basically Sirius falls in love at first sight with Remus. (I mean, who wouldn't?)





	Cute Butt

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shessocold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shessocold/gifts), [YouBlitheringIdiot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouBlitheringIdiot/gifts).



> Written for AshCastle's Valentine's Day Challenge 2018  
> PROMPT #30: Character A was proposed to on Valentine’s Day, but turned B down. 
> 
> Ok, so this exact scenario happened to me. Would've been cuter in real life if I wasn't already taken. ; )
> 
> Also, all the kudos should be directed to the lovely authors (I gifted it to them), and their generous feedback. THANK YOU!!!!!
> 
> Oh, and if you're also wolfstar obsessed like me, you can check out [my tumblr](http://starstruck4moony.tumblr.com/).
> 
>  
> 
> Lastly, we all know Remus is the cutie with a perfect ass, right?

“So, steak?” Sirius asked, staring at the butcher case, not being able to tell heads or tails of all the different cuts. All he could tell was that there was steak (some in the shape of hearts for Valentine’s Day), chicken breast, bacon, and then everything else was a mystery that he assumed only grandmas knew how to cook.

 

“Whatever you usually get,” James answered, wandering off to grab more free cheese samples while Sirius waited in line.

 

“So what’ll you have?” the butcher asked another customer.

 

“I’ll take two pounds of chicken wings, one of your beef tongues, and the biggest pork butt you have; that one near the front.”

 

Sirius turned, intrigued by the man’s deep raspy voice, and was struck by the sight of the drop dead gorgeous man. He was tall with wide shoulders, and a slim frame that Sirius wanted to wrap an arm around while tangling his fingers into the head of his dark golden curls. His gaze trailed down to a perfectly curved ass and…. _damn._ He stared for a bit before his brain started to work again.

 

“Say, what are you going to do with that huge piece of meat?”

 

The man turned, but when he went to open his mouth to respond, his jaw fell open and his eyes went wide.

 

Sirius grinned, happy to have had the same effect on the man that he was experiencing himself. He knew from experience that his dark features, long hair pulled back into loose bun against his strong model-like features usually meant he didn’t experience much rejection. Of course, his signature look of tight skinny jeans and leather jacket didn’t hurt either.

 

“Uh, the pork butt?” the man blurted out.

 

“Yeah, I mean, I love butts, but have never cooked a piece of pork that big.”

 

The angel’s cheeks flooded with color and he looked down when he blushed. Sirius knew right then that he was totally fucked.

 

“Um, yeah, so I create a brine with cayenne, paprika, and apple cider vinegar, and let it sit in that for a day, then take it out, and let it dry out in the fridge overnight, before I cut a diamond pattern on the skin. I cover it in spices and then smoke it for twelve hours over low heat and hickory wood,” the angel described while waving his hands, his eyes sparkling with joy and confidence, “then I let it rest for a bit while I heat up my homemade hot sauce, I shred the whole thing, and serve it in my handmade corn tortillas with some homemade onion pickles and slaw”.

 

Sirius’s mouth was watering, not just from the description of the most delicious homemade meal he’d ever heard of, but from the beautiful creature describing it with so much passion; it made his heart swell.

 

“Marry me.” he blurted out, regretting the outburst instantly.

 

The blush returned in full to the man with the soft looking curls.

 

“Um...no.”  he said, grinning as he took his parcels from the counter.

 

Sirius had never felt this embarrassed in his entire life.  He was usually  pretty smooth, and now he had gone and scared this man off before he even got his name.

 

“...but if you buy the beer, you can come over and help me eat this….if you want?”

 

The man looked up through his eyelashes at Sirius with a shy grin.

 

“Yes!” Sirius exclaimed, a little too excitedly, causing the other man to give a light laugh. “I mean yeah, what kind of beer do you like, cute butt?”

 

“ _Cute butt?_ You’ve got to be kidding me.”

 

“Nope, I’m Sirius.”


End file.
